A Short Story by Dan Trinh
There’s this guy by the name of Eugene. Now Eugene is one of the weirdest kids out there, like socially inept. Always standing in the corner on his phone watching Rick and Morty in school. He dresses up with a t-shirt, trench coat, cargo pants, socks and sandals, and a fedora. He always complains on how “Class is for Men and Swag is for Boys.” He also claims that he’s a nice guy but harrasses girls for leaving his abundant amount of text messages on read, and rants about not having a girlfriend because “Chad” always gets all the girls by being a “mean” guy, while Eugene himself is unhygienic, has an ungroomed and greasy neckbeard, and has an unlikeable personality.
Now there is a girl that he really really likes, and her name is Yuzuki. She’s a recent Japanese transfer student and Eugene has been creepily stalking her all over the place. However, things went for the worst on Tuesday during Lunch.
On that day, Eugene went up to her dressed in an odd fashion; he was wearing a black fedora, beige cargo shorts, and 19th century clothing. He approached Yuzuki and asked her out in a very awkward way. “So uh..” he tips his fedora and sweats profusely, “M’lady would I like to interest you with an invitation to be my girlfriend and go to homecoming with me?” he rubs his greasy neckbeard as his eyes dart left and right. He then talks to himself, “Oh man, if she accepts this proposal, I get to have the most pure Nipponese girlfriend in the school, please bid the lady accepts!” as he breathes very heavily like an animal. “So, what will it be?”
“Uh, no thanks..” Yuzuki replied while backing away out of fear. “WHAT?! BUT I’M A NICE GUY! WHY DO YOU STUPID FEMOIDS GO OUT WITH CHAD WHO WILL NOT TREAT YOU RIGHT?! THIS IS WHY NICE GUYS LIKE ME ARE RARE! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” Eugene yelled while not aware of the irony of his statement. He then runs out of the area with his arms extended backwards like a ninja, and he wasn’t seen the whole day afterwards.
1000 words by Laura Dubois
Number 7-Sikukuu ya Krismasi!
A man steps out of a gleaming,red limousine. The sunrise’s bright light light glows directly into his eyes. The man is not yet use to such a bright sunrise.
He shielded his eyes from the daybreak’s light. The horizon’s palette casting a luminous glow across the field; the man wasn’t used to such a bright sunrise.
A man beaming with joy walks up to the squinting man. “Good Morning Mr. Abdu, It’s an honor to meet you sir”
.”My name’s Bryan Hoffman, I’m hosting this event” Hoffman sticks out his hand .A few seconds passed before Abdu accepted the handshake.
“Thank you for accepting my invitation,” Hoffman said with his boastful smile still present “Your attendance will skyrocket both of our earnings next year.” Abdu bit his tongue and smiled at the cheerful man “No thank you for inviting me Hoffman and Merry Christmas.”
Hoffman walked towards one of the multiple pavilions scattered across the fields. With the host’s facing away from him Abdu sneered at the man and followed him to the largest pavilion in the field. The pavilion was filled to the brim with children.
Children who chase each other, children who scream carols at the top of their lungs, children who attack the trays filled with treats and candy, and children who carry large boxes.
“Jesus Christ” Hoffman muttered. He put on another false smile and lead Abdu towards the stage. “Ladies and Gentlemen” Hoffman announced into the microphone. “Welcome to our Christmas Day Of Giving event.”
The crowd ignored the host. The rowdy children still screamed and the parents gave all their attention to silencing the children. Hoffman gave a deep sigh for continuing his insincere speech. “I’d like to thank all of your for attending this event and…” the crowd got louder and boisterous, completely drowning out Hoffman’s speech.
Hoffman attempted to speak one last time before he was interrupted again.”Siku kuu ya Krismasi!” the sudden yell of a man echoed throughout the room. The crowd instantly brought their attention to the source of the sound.
A man with a large, white beard dressed in a red jumpsuit jumped onto the stage. For a short while, the crowd was stunned with silence. Then the children started to roar with cheers and laughter. “Santa!, Look there’s Santa!” they exclaimed. Some children bounced up and down with joy while others rushed to the stage to meet the man.
Abdu could no longer suppress his large smile, the thought of these children being so happen brought a rush of joy to his heart.Hoffman hopped off his stage, clearly mad that his moment of attention was so abruptly interrupted.”You’d think these brats would be more grateful.” he grumbled.
“Well, it is all about these “brats” at the end of the day,” Abdu muttered. “I’m going to a get a ginger beer ” Abdu trudged over to the serving tables. The crowd completely surrounded the man dressed up as Santa. Abdu grabbed the nearest glass and took a long sip. He’d would have to savour the drink, it was one of the few times a year he’s given the opportunity to have ginger beer.
He had drunken about ten glasses before his coat was being pulled by a prying little girl. Her hair was braided into cornrows and tied by a little blue bow. She wore a large sweater and her hand was full of small wrapped presents.
She gestured for him to bring his head down to her level. He lowered his hand and allowed the little girl to speak into his ear “Mister, Why is Santa here?” When he raised his head back up he saw that her eyes were filled with curiosity. “Why is he in Africa?” she continued “Shouldn’t he be at the North Pole?”
“Do you know where the North Pole is?, it’s much colder than Africa, penguins, and elves live there, and..” the little girl rambled on and on for a few minutes. Spewing facts about the North Pole and Santa.
Abdu let her informative tirade go on for a few more minutes before gently interrupting “Y’ know Santa doesn’t stay at the North Pole every day.” “Really?” the little girl perked her head up clearly interested. “Yes around Christmas time he goes around the world to celebrate Christmas with humans.
“Why mister, isn’t the North Pole fun?”the little girl pondered Abdu paused for a moment before continuing. “Yes but would you get lonely being there all by yourself?’ he asked
“But doesn’t he have the elves and Mrs. Claus?” “Oh how I wish he did,” Abdu thought while biting his cheek. “No he does not.” he whispered “So because of that Santa does his best to make sure every single child in the world is happy”
The little girl gawked at the man for a few moments before continuing “Then I am happy that Santa is here.” she said with a bright smile “So that he is not lonely anymore.”
Abdu’s heart skipped and extra beat with joy “Me too young one” he gently patted atop of the girls’ head.
“Ada!” women shrieked “Ada where are you!” It was quite miraculous that Abdu was able to hear the woman in such large crowd but miracles were abundant this time of year. The little girl brushed past Abdu and skipped over to the woman “I’m right Kwame, over here!” The woman firmly grabbed the girl’s hand “Ada don’t run off like that, foolish girl you could get lost here!” she scolded
Abdu stepped in at that point “Apologies Madam but I was talking to Ada this entire time and she was perfectly safe the entire” The woman glanced over at Abdu and softened her gaze. “I know but, I worry about this girl” she sighed while rubbing her temples. “Don’t.” Abdu simply said with a smile before walking off hurriedly.
He did not realize how much time had passed “Wait Abdu sir..!” Hoffman started but Abdu gave him no attention as he entered the carmine limousine. “Sorry I’m late ”he apologized, The reindeers neighed in annoyance before setting off back home.