Restroom Hygiene Tips

On an early Monday morning, you walk into the bathroom, and you admire the beauty of a freshly cleaned stall that has not yet been ravaged by the reprobates we call our peers and classmates. If you’re the girl who combs out your (synthetic) hair and leaves in the sinks, toilets, etc., or you’re the guy who doesn’t flush the toilet or misses the bowl, causing the whole unit to smell of urine, these set of standards are definitely directed towards you.

Ladies, let’s begin with some housekeeping rules:

1. If you comb your hair, and your hair begins to shed, you are expected to clean it up afterwards.
2. All feminine products and their wrappings belong in the silver bin next to the toilet. If they are flush-able, then do so. Regardless, they do not belong scattered on the floor.
3. All toilet tissue must be flushed or disposed of properly.
4. Please DO NOT smear your foundation, your lipstick, etc. across the bathroom.
   “I just don’t understand why girls feel the need to put makeup all over the walls. Just why,” said Marie Dorneval. “Just beat your face and go sis.”
5. No more than 4 sprays of perfume. Otherwise, take it outside.
6. Please do not leave your food wrappings in the bathroom. Not only is it unsanitary to eat in a public restroom (or any restroom), but there are trash bins located directly outside of every bathroom. There is no excuse.
7. Always flush the toilet.

Gentlemen, although rules three, six, and seven apply to you all, you have special rules also:

1. Urinals… the golden rule (no pun intended) is if you cannot stand and aim, then sit and be plain. If you’re going to urinate on everything but the targeted bowl, do everyone a favor and just use the toilet sitting down.
2. Wipe off the toilet if you do happen to drip onto it. We get it, mistakes happen, but it’s still your responsibility to fix it.
3. Do not deface the bathroom. Do not attempt to remove toilet seats nor try to kick down doors, faucets, etc. (I shouldn’t have to type this but I’ve heard it all).
   “When I walk into the school bathroom, I feel dirty just being in it,” Isaiah Connelly said as he grimaced. “Like it’s just plain nasty and disgusting the way people act in there… it makes me think ‘how do they act at home,’” he said.
4. Do not spray your cologne/body spray in the bathroom to where it becomes unbearable. If you have to do multiple sprays that last over half a second, take it outside.
   Eagles, we should never neglect the place where hygiene is the most important. If you cannot abide by these standards then do not use our school restrooms.