By LINDSEY DYE
When it comes to talking, women talk too much and men talk too little. However, talking about sex is necessary. So, let’s talk about sex. A recent study by the University of California showed that high school couples who had sex generally broke up 21 days later.
There are usually three different groups of people teens need to talk about sex to: parents, friends and partner. Each should be handled and treated differently than the other.
First, regarding the sex talk with one’s parents. Do not freak out; this does not need to be as awkward as they make it in the movies. Hopefully, there will be no long silent pauses, no throwing of objects and no fainting. Keep in mind that parents already know everything about you, they have also been where you are and that honesty, as well as openness, is the key here. Eighty-three percent of teens worried about their parent’s reaction when talking to them about sex; 78 percent named embarrassment as a big reason, according to Advocatesforyouth.org; however, these reasons cannot be what keeps you from talking to them.
When telling your parents that you are sexually active, ensure them you are responsible and practicing safe sex. Starting the conversation this way would be a good idea. Remember, parents are as uncomfortable about this as you are and have less than no desire to hear all the gory details. If you are not practicing safe sex, shame on you. This fact is better left unsaid to parents, as it will only make them worry – which it should.
A student shows that 51 percent of teens (61 percent of females; 42 percent of males) have discussed “how to know when you are ready to have sex” with their parents. This number is far too low.
To keep mom or dad from having a mental breakdown when hearing about “their precious baby’s” curiosity of the opposite sex, avoid talking to them when they are already stressed or upset. Timing is also a key factor in this discussion.
While parents cannot tell you that you are forbidden to have sex, they are your parents and have concerns about your physical and emotional health. Listen to what your parents have to say.
While some teens are confident in the sense that they want and are ready to become sexually active, others are hesitant. Talk to your significant other about your feelings towards a sexual relationship. If you aren’t ready, say so. Peer pressure should not be a factor here. As cliche as it sounds, not everyone is having sex and it is not something that anyone should be rushing into without consideration. One may find this more intimidating than talking to parents; however, trust is the most important factor to a relationship.
Openness and honesty are very important while talking to a partner about sex. Say things as simple as possible and do not be embarrassed to share feelings or opinions. As with talking to parents, one needs to listen intently and know that timing is key.
Talking about sex with friends is easy and comes naturally; sharing is not the problem here, it is over sharing. Rule number one is to keep private things private. In high school, sex rumors spread more quickly than the common cold in winter months. You must not share details of your sexual activity with those whom you do not trust. Rule number two: under no circumstance should you exaggerate or overshare details. A quick way to lose respect, end up without a relationship and gain a black eye would be to break this rule.
Talking about sex should come naturally. Avoid awkward pauses and overwhelming feelings of discomfort by saying all that comes to mind and knowing that this talk must happen sooner or later.