By DAVID MATTESON
While Florida is known for its unbearable humidity and heat, the sunshine state does have its moments of shockingly low temperatures. And with this cold weather comes the worst fashion mishaps of the year.
Cold weather requires a whole new wardrobe of lush coats and brilliant accessories. The short time that Florida reaches low temperatures should be cherished as fashion savvy people’s only time to show off a whole new side of themselves. In the absence of humidity, hair should be straight and free of frizz and complexions should clear up.
And yet, students still look like a hot mess despite the winter chill. There are two types of fashion victims: those that wear cold weather garb their parents purchased them years ago or those who refuse to acknowledge the fact that they’re freezing their bums off and wear shorts and sandals. These style morons are calling out for assistance, so check out this list of tips to keep style fresh this winter.
Accessories are a must. The bargain bin at Target is not one’s friend when it comes to finding winter accessories. Sure, one might find a mismatch of scarves, stocking caps and gloves all for under $10, but the inevitable fact is all of these pieces just look cheap. Instead, fork out some cash for a cashmere scarf, fur cap and lined leather gloves. In the long run, these items will last much longer then those pesky, poly-blend cheapies.
Also, work accessories into outfits. A bold scarf should be used to stand out, not clash with patterns in a jacket. Or if one chooses a flashy coat, be sure to stick to simple white, black or grey accessories. Choose a piece that will catch others eyes, whether its fur boots, a bright cap or a gorgeous trench, and don’t compete for visual attention with other standoffish pieces.
Don’t mismatch accessories. Wear a grey knit hat with a grey scarf. Don’t clash stripes, solids and patterns. Mismatching looks only makes one look like a pathetic version of Pippi Longstocking.
Burn those awful thermals. Thermals are disgusting. The texture and ridiculously obnoxious prints generally placed on them make these winter options sickening. Often they are tight, and the knitting accentuates the worst features of one’s body. Overall, thermals are more suitable for burning in people’s fireplaces, rather than actually wearing out. So, when restyling one’s winter look, donate all thermals to the homeless. Surely, they can make something out of this trashy style.
Instead of opting for a thermal, purchase wool or cashmere sweaters. One still enjoys rich texture, just in a more mature and fashionable manner. Plus, cashmere is so soft against the skin, especially when compared to the roughness of a thermal.
Winter requires a new arsenal of products. Chapped lips, flaky skin and straw hair are all the negative effects of winter. The absence of humidity leaves skin and hair dehydrated. This requires one to purchase products that will fulfill the body’s thirst.
For those pesky lips, people must make applying balms to them a part of their daily habit. Steer away from traditional Chap Stick, which requires reapplication several times throughout the day. Instead, find a solution that will leave lips hydrated 24/7. Neutrogena makes remarkable and inexpensive products designed for this purpose. Their Daily Lip Moisturizer with SPF 15 ($3, Walgreens) leaves lips moist, while the Overnight Renewal Therapy ($4, Walgreens) repairs damage.
Skin also tends to be dry throughout the winter, leaving faces flaky. In order to combat this, apply daily moisturizers designed specifically for either the face or body. For the face, be sure to use a product free of oils, as this will cause unnecessary breakouts. For example, Clinique’s Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion ($28) is oil free and keeps skin glowing and soft all day.
Finally, as the cold settles in, many turn to damaging products to straighten or curl hair without the fear of frizz. Yet, if hoping to escape from the torture of straightening and curling irons with undamaged locks certain steps must be taken. Weekly conditioning masques should be applied to hair in order to repair damage. Bumble & Bumble’s Mending Masque ($38) is heaven in a tube. Also, always use products designed for heat exposure such as Redken’s Ultra Straightening Spray ($15).
Overall, cold weather is a Floridian’s nightmare. Yet, by following these suggestions one may be able to escape fashion terrors and exhibit the best holiday gift of all: fashion sense.
4 thoughts on “How to dress ‘cool’”
What right do you have to call students trashy in your article who may be less fortunate than you? That’s a serious question and i want to know if being well off gives someone the right to talk like this to a school of 3,000 kids. This is close to a form of bullying and many people are offended by this and others.
Dear David Matteson,
This is in reply to the rude message left at the end of your article. I respect your opinion on the matter of your article but in my opinion, it was rude, belittling, and bullying. You used phrases like “style moron”, “hot mess”, “trashy style”, and multiple others. I personally wear thermal shirts and was offended by your inconsiderate rant. I see no problem with them for they keep me warm and in my opinion, look good. I shop from clearance sections and I always come walking out of the store happy. Finally, we all cant be billionaires like you to buy expensive products and cashmere goods but our modest items get the job done. You sound spoiled, I did not appreciate your rant, and you may think you are this fashion expert but alls you come out to be is spoiled. I am sure I could find multiple other things to find offensive in your article but I choose not to waste my time with it anymore.
P.S. I don’t think stores like Target would appreciate this either.
To the author:
I’m not sure who you are but firstly,if you
were trying to get under people’s skin on purpose,you did a great job. From the people in my classes’ point of view,you really managed to offend a lot of people.
1.) Not everyone is as rich as you are and can afford to
buy an expensive arsenal of winter jackets and accessories.
Do you even know how bad the economy is right now!?! Everyone is down on their finances. Get real,we’re Floridians,we don’t need them that often.
2.)People cannot control their skin problems! Some people need
medicated,perscription skin creams for acne and even that
doesn’t help sometimes! Then the hair thing,come on man,our
bodies are used to humidity. We all,(even you),have hair
issues. Nobody can afford to buy expensive skin products
either! For the record,there is nothing wrong with using
3.) Why are you insulting the way the homeless dress by saying:
“Donate all thermals to the homeless. Surely they can make
something out of this trashy style.” Way to sound really
stuck up! Homeless people are not in that situation because
they want to be there! You should watch it too,because the
way the economy is,you just might end up in that situation
4.) There is nothing wrong with shopping at Target. There is
also nothing wrong with wearing a good jacket you’ve had
for years,you don’t have to have a new one every single
Well,I’ve spoke my peace. I think its safe to
say that I speak for the majority when I say that I’m
outraged with this article! Who are you to tell people
how they should dress?! Good or bad,everyone has their
own personal style and fashion sense! It’s called being
an induvidual. Maybe you should try it and stop following
trends like your life depends on it before you go poking
fun at how other people dress.
To all you who think negatively about his pieces:
They are editorials. As in his opinion, NOT YOURS. So you can all go be quiet and read something else if you’re really that offended. And on that note, in MY opinion, it’s really hilarious how much time you spent responding to an article you hated in the first place. A bit pitiful, really.