By KINSEY SEACORD
A relationship is like a plant. Once the seed is cultivated, it takes nurturing and attention to grow. One way to nip the bud is to let technology take root in the relationship. While cell phones and the Internet do have a place, the dangers of excessive use are too prominent to ignore.
Face-to-face contact is being slaughtered by technology. Nothing is making couples more awkward in person than when all of their communication is behind the security of a screen. Technology can be a useful tool for long distance relationships, but quality in-person time together is imperative. Being able to articulate oneself around a significant other takes time and effort. When people speak in person, emotions can be detected from their tone; digital words are flat and detached.
While it can be argued that texting allows couples to have constant contact and get to know each other quicker, there is no substitute for human interaction.
Getting to know someone through texting or social networking robs the couple of simple moments. The moment where she laughs at his stupid joke, or the time he smiles just because she is with him. Technological barriers keep one from experiencing these. Also, persistent connection can become annoying and does not allow the couple to have space. No one enjoys being smothered.
A fantastic habit, that will ensure one’s feelings are communicated, is writing love letters. Putting pen to paper demands time and thought. It is a sentimental and old-fashioned keepsake. According to a survey by The Telegraph, 70 percent of women would rather receive a love letter than some form of digital communication from a significant other.
Misunderstandings through the digital world are more frequent than not. Comical connotations can often be misconstrued and the true meaning of one’s words can be lost.
Couples fighting via texting are doomed to fail. According to John Suler in Cyber Psychology and Behavior, people say and do things in cyberspace they would not ordinarily say or do in the face-to-face world. This means fights will be more heated, words will be more cruel and anger will be more explosive.
Social networking sites are breeding grounds for misunderstandings. Cyber words often cause confusion in their meaning. People obsess over documenting their relationship and making everything public. Connections require intimacy, not publicity.
The biggest danger technology imposes is superficial distractions. The virtual world is full of things to browse through, but one should not be looking when spending time with his partner. For a relationship to thrive, a couple’s full attentions should be focused on each other. Nothing will get one dumped faster than whipping out a phone during a date and rudely disconnecting with the world around him. When one is too busy to notice his significant other is desperate for attention, it sends a clear message: “technology is more important than you.”
So put the phone down and start experiencing a real relationship.
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