By DAVID MATTESON
Queen of shallow, low-brow and all things trashy, Nicole Polizzi, aka Snooki, released her first novel Jan. 5.
The book, A Shore Thing ($24) is a fictional story about two cousins who spend a summer at Seaside Heights, NJ. The novel is light, fluff tied in with disgusting sex scenes as the girls seek out “summer love.”
The protagonists, Gia and Bella seem to idealize the stereotypical “guidettes.” Gia is remarkably similar to the author’s TV persona, and is in search of a muscle man, referred to as a “gorilla.” Bella, has a tad more depth, and seeks a new man after ending a toxic six-year relationship.
Along the way, the girls have conflicts with former high school enemies and perverted men. However, they eventually take charge of their own lives and resolve to be more responsible women. A typical clichéd story, the novel lacks depth nor an overall purpose.
In short, the book is trash. The choices that these protagonists make are deplorable. The provocative outfits they wear such as micro-bikinis that barely hide nipples; the way they allow men to treat them and their overall “damsel in distress” attitude single handedly sets back the feminist movement decades.
It is the same mindless entertainment in Snooki’s claim to fame show, Jersey Shore. Fans of the show should be aware that the book is not the chronicle of the cast and Snooki’s experiences, which has been the popular misconception.
The story does have its funny moments. For example, when Gia’s high school enemies lace her Jello shots with laxatives and she has to crowd surf in order to make it to the restroom in time. However, these comical scenes are few and far between.
Overall, the book is a waste of one’s time and money. It has done nothing for the ridiculous author than suffice as further proof that her 15 minutes of fame have long been up. One out of Five Stars